Dear diary,

For the past few nights I haven't been sleeping well, having tons of dreams. I was so worried for my hamster. She got this huge lump of thing on her finger. I thought she had soar finger. I din know until my sis broke the news to me. I felt so pain when I saw her pathetic paw. The lump is larger than her finger. It is really bad.

Finally, I brought her Simei's Pet Safari. When I reach there, the receptionist gave me a lil' form to fill in. The first question was, Pet's Name:__________ Just then, I began to realise that I din really gave her a name! (after so long yah...2 years back...when I've still stayin in Aljunied) I thought of the past. The day me and Amos went to get this black bear. I still can remember the shop (situated just opposite Aljunied MacDonalds) and the Malay Christian uncle who was so kind to let us pay 3/4 of the total. We din had enough money on that day. Both of us were like trying our very best to dig our coins from our pause and pocket. Haha!! What a funny scene...

I was brought back to reality not long later and begin to realise that here I am alone with black bear. I looked into the paper bag (I carried her to work inside a tank) and began to smile. Just then, I knew what her name will be. I'm her mom and Amos is her dad, so I shall call her "Baby". She is our baby...Anyway, I've been calling her Baby unawarely too! And so I wrote "Baby" into the blank using the pencil they provided. I began to write her breed (Black bear) and her age (2 years) followed by my informations.

Standing at the receptionist counter, as I held my head up, I saw a list of fees. I was trying my best to look for "Hamster" this word, but failed to find. I only saw Dogs, Cats. I was very much worried about the fees. I'm afraid I don't have enough to pay. Just then, God reminded me that "Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment." 1 Timothy 6:17

Yes! Yes! God reminded me that He is the provider not just for one day, not just for one thing but forever and everything, that I shall fear of nothing. I believe at that moment, God strengthen my faith and trust in Him. And so I calmly sat down and wait. Just another sofa away, an owner is holding his dog of wat seemed to be a Golden Retriever...I think so...it's 3 mths old. He's sooo cute...I can see he's shivering a lil'. Poor thing...

I've waited for about an hour, finally it's Baby's turn. It's pretty funny as the assistant has to use "Baby" to call me to go in. As I went in, there's this young looking girl. First look, I thought she's only an assistant. Gradually, I began to find out that she is quite professional. She ask me if I handled my baby recently. I said no. But I told her Baby is very tame, she won't anyhow bite people. So, she hold Baby, turn her around to observe her. She notice Baby's lower tooth is rather long, so she said she will have to cut away abit of her two tooth. She said that her skin is alright just that Baby is getting old thus she's losing her furs. Awww...I think I can call her old grandma le. :x

The doctor took a scissors and began to cut Baby's lower tooth. I ask her if she will feel the pain, she explained that because their tooth all year long grow so it won't be painful for her. I was relieved when she said that. After that, she left Baby on the table, use a thicker tissue paper to cover her. She said let her relax first. I bend down a lil' to see how's Baby, she's cleaning her face. Owei-yoh...she's soooo cute...I feel like huggin her. >.<

She prepared this nylon looking string, ask her assistant to tie around the wart. She ask her to look carefully when she ties. As they are trying hard to tie properly, I realise the wart is getting slightly bigger a bit. I believe it's because Baby is struggling about, the blood actually pumps faster, that's why. She place her on the table again. After observing a while, she said okay good, at least she's not biting it. I believe she is referring to the nylon string. The assistant begin to tie even further. It just so happen the wart got cut away. Baby didn't make any sound but she starts to bleed a lil'. Poor thing...I was pretty worried.

The doctor use some alcohol (I believe so...) to clean her paw. Later on, she applied some medication. She place the thicker tissue into the tank and place Baby inside the tank. As Baby walks, there are spots of blood all around. After observing a while, the doctor carry her out and begin to apply a stronger purpleish thing on her paw. She struggled even more. But the doctor was rather patience. She tried to apply despites Baby moving all about.

She place her back into the tank again. This time round, the blood spots are lesser. Doctor finally said that she should be alright already. I was so relieve. I close the tank and put the tank back into my paper bag. I realise the blood on the table dries up rather quickly. Doctor showed me the medication to apply on her paw and also she mention two other things for me to drip some drops into Baby's water daily. I thank the doctor and her assistant and made my way out.

I went back to the sofa to take a seat. I notice the 3 mths old Golden Retrieval is not there already. Not long later, the receptionist called for Baby, I went up. She told me the different medication is for what purpose and how many times to be given to Baby per day. When she said total will be 77 dollars. I was like, PHEW...thank God. My friends thought it's quite expensive. I thought it's okay, as long as my Baby is well again.

I thought of getting some treats for Baby so I went into the supplies shop to have a look. The sales person introduce me a fruity treat for Baby. She said it's very popular. Thus I got the Papaya and donno what other fruits for Baby. The banana one will cause hamsters to get diahoerra. It's a good thing that she's honest enought to be frank with me. After buying the 3.99 bucks of treats, I went back to buy dinner.

When I reach home, Baby looked tired. I believe she's very hungry. I put her back into her cage, she begin to walk about and gradually find food. I was so glad that she went up her tray to eat. I quickly run to get my camera and snap 3 shots of her. Although she's getting old, she still look so adorable. I added a few drops of supplements and an "appetiser" into Baby's water. And of course, I pour some bits of treats into her food tray too. I believe she likes the treat and is enjoying happily. :)

Finally settling her things, it's time to settle my own stomach. By the time is 9pm, I went to my room and realise my legs are rather wobbly. I guess I'm too hungry. However I'm too worried for Baby, I didn't have the time to feel the hunger in me.

Through these, I realise how much I have been neglecting Baby. I used to attend and care for Baby a lot until the breakup. I even ask the cellgroup to pray for me to have the heart to really care for her. Nothing seems to work until I realise I'm losing her. I felt really bad and I told God and myself that I will be there for my Baby until her very last day. Never will I neglect her for Amos. Never. I love you Baby...mucks!! :*

*ying

-1:59 AM